Emotionally Abusive Relationships Essay Example

Emotionally Abusive Relationships Essay Example Emotionally Abusive Relationships Essay Emotionally Abusive Relationships Essay Running head: Emotionally Abusive Relationship Emotionally Abusive Relationship Chanda Annon 1204A August 2012 Term Emotionally Abusive Relationship I. Introduction a. People can be in an emotional abusive relationship and not even know it. b. Emotional Abuse can be considered the most painful source of abuse. II. Emotionally Abusive can be considered an non-physical abuse a. It can destroy someone emotionally b. It can make someone feel worthless c. It can destroy your relationship III. Child abuse can be a reason for your present abuse a. Physical Abuse b. Emotional Abuse c. Verbal Abuse IV. What can you do to help with the emotional abuse. a. Talk about your childhood with eachother b. Don’t only focus on your part in the abuse c. Talk about it together to try and figure out the problems V. Conclusion a. You can’t force your partner to understand your way of things. Often times people are in an emotionally abusive relationship and don’t even know it. And when you hear about emotional abuse you might just shrug it off like it’s no big deal. In all reality emotional abuse can be one of the most painful forms of abuse, cutting to the very core of a person, creating scars longer lasting than physical ones. Weather it is one or both partners being emotionally abusive, the relationship becomes increasingly more toxic as time goes by. Over time, anger can build on the part of both abuser and victim, and emotional abuse can turn to physical violence. Emotional Abuse can be defined as and non-physical behavior that is used to intimidate, punish, isolate, or control a person using degrading, fearful, or humiliating tactics. It is not only made up of negative behaviors but also negative attitude such as; not caring how others feel, believing your always right, and believing others should always do as you say. The primary effects of emotional abuse on a victim are depression, no motivation, confusion, low self-esteem, feeling worthless, self-blame, etc. Ultimately, given enough time, most victims of emotional abuse come to not only blame themselves for the problems in the relationship but also believe that they are inadequate, contemptuous, and even unlovable. If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship chances are you had an emotionally abusive childhood. Emotional abuse of children includes abuse such as; physical abuse- when a parent does not provide basic necessities (clothing, food, or shelter). Emotional neglect- when parents show no affection or interest in their child, alcoholics in particular are often neglectful of their child’s needs. Verbal abuse- constantly putting their child down, name calling, and being overly critical. One pattern established by those emotionally abused in childhood is called â€Å"repetition compulsion†- an unconscious drive to repeat the type of abusive relationship we had as a child attempting to get a different outcome. The repetition compulsion explains why, if one of your parents was verbally abusive to you, you will tend to be verbally abusive to your partner and/or children. Emotional abuse or neglect in childhood severely limits a person’s ability to maintain a healthy relationship in adulthood. Abused victims may view their partner as their enemy and focus more on what their partner does wrong instead of right. Not only working on your own problems, and your part in the abuse, you and your partner must work together to stop the abuse from destroying your relationship. Here is a little exercise to better understanding each other: Share your histories, since it is highly likely that you were both neglected, physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abused as children. This will help you have a better understanding of your behavior and attitudes origin. Your story does not need to tell your entire childhood, but include experiences of neglects, abandonment, or abuse. After you’ve had a chance to share your stories, sit down and discuss your reactions to the sharing. Include things such as, your reaction to what they told you an how it made you fell to know that happened to them, how your experiences were similar or different, and any connection you made concerning what happened as a child and what has occurred in your present relationship. If your partner doesn’t see the connection, drop it. You can’t force them to see the pattern if they don’t. References: beverlyengel. com/books/emotionally. abuse. rel. htm Susan Forward, Ph. D. , author of Emotional Blackmail Marti Loring, Ph. D. , author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and owner of BPDCentral. com Steven Farmer, Ph. D. , author of Adult Children of Abusive Parents and Sacred Ceremony

How a Car Wash Led to a Grammar Lesson †and a Valentine’s Day Life Lesson

How a Car Wash Led to a Grammar Lesson – and a Valentine’s Day Life Lesson A Car Washing Adventure From time to time it is necessary, living in a snowy city, to give my car a respite from the salt that eats away at it for much of the winter.   During my last visit to Octopus Car Wash, as I waited for my car to get spit out the other end of the car wash, I discovered a wall full of greeting cards, many of them by a local Wisconsin greeting card company, Byrne Schmidt Greetings. What a great idea!   I love browsing humorous and clever greeting cards and went to work picking out cards to give to my friends and family for upcoming holidays. Leave it to me to find a grammar issue in one of the birthday cards. Squirrely Grammar Lesson Squirrely Grammar On the front of one card, I found a picture of a squirrel holding an oversized acorn under each arm. The title:   A Squirrel Birthday Poem.   The first three lines of the poem: Happy Birthday to you, You can bet your sweet butt To insure you a great birthday I opened the card to find the last two lines of the poem: I’d give my left nut. I laughed.   And I also got inspired to write about the difference between â€Å"ensure† and â€Å"insure.†Ã‚   My first reaction was that â€Å"insure† had been used incorrectly here and that the correct verb was â€Å"ensure.†Ã‚   As I did my research, I learned that I was only partially right about that assessment. The Essay Expert Gets a Grammar Lesson:   Assure, Insure, Ensure Associated Press style does indeed dictate that â€Å"ensure† means to make sure something happens and that â€Å"insure† means to issue a life insurance policy.   Other authorities, however, state that it is acceptable to use the two interchangeably, though â€Å"insure† does more often relate to monetary insurance and â€Å"ensure† more often relates to a non-monetary guarantee. About.com has a great article about these distinctions, and covers the word â€Å"assure† as well.   See Assure, Ensure, and Insure:   Commonly Confused Words by Richard Nordquist. I’m not going to go into detail about the difference between all these words.   I do want to point out that regardless of his or her proper word choice, the greeting card writer took artistic license in omitting the verb in the sentence.   A correct sentence would have read, â€Å"To insure that you have a great birthday†¦.†Ã‚   The way it read, â€Å"To insure you a great birthday† doesn’t make sense.   We can insure a car or a house, or insure *that* something happens, but we can’t ensure a person something. And Now for the Valentines Day Life Lesson Nevertheless, I am more interested in the fact that I was so sure the word choice in the card was incorrect that I almost wrote a blog article about the difference between insure and ensure without doing my research.   What a great lesson in being willing to be wrong! I often think I’m right about a lot of things, not just grammatical issues.   Things like how clean a kitchen should be, or what habits are healthy and not, or what is the best way to do just about anything.   Sometimes being right is not the best way to sustain healthy relationships.   And sometimes I’m just plain wrong.   I can assure you of that. It’s Valentine’s Day.   Is there anything you’re sure you’re right about with your loved ones?   Are you willing to consider the possibility that there’s another right answer out there in the world besides yours? Please share your thoughts on grammar and on being right.   I’d love to hear your comments! Category:Grammar Writing TipsBy Brenda BernsteinFebruary 14, 2011 9 Comments judyb says: February 15, 2011 at 12:06 pm But its just a card!!! Found your website from the Linkedin Blogger Group. Log in to Reply The Essay Expert says: February 15, 2011 at 1:08 pm Thanks for your comment Judy. In the world of The Essay Expert, everything is fodder for a grammar lesson and sometimes a life lesson too! Log in to Reply Kerri Randall says: February 16, 2011 at 7:36 pm Found you through LinkedIn, too. =) And yes, its just a card but (and I totally dont mean this in a mean or harsh tone) but it baffles me that on the whole, spelling and grammar just arent important to a vast majority of people, it seems, and even more annoying is the fact that its rude to correct people. Yargh, lol. Thats just me, though. I was a writing major in college and still write often, so I have those stereotypical grammar and spelling pet peeves. =) Log in to Reply Jackie Grande says: February 15, 2011 at 8:14 pm I love the card, but even more so love the lesson learned! Nice article Brenda. Log in to Reply Sherry Zander says: February 16, 2011 at 7:39 pm Hi, Brenda. This bugged me, so I do what I do every time I have a question about a word(s) I looked all three of them up in Websters. Interestingly enough, all three words are synonymous of each other. This boggles my mind, since I was always taught that insure was related to insurance products only. I would never have guessed this changed had you not posted this on your blog. Log in to Reply Mari-Lyn says: February 16, 2011 at 10:23 pm Wheres the flash cards? Its cute that you used a greeting card for your post. Thanks for the lesson of grammar. Bet you could re-write my comment. Log in to Reply Hajra says: February 17, 2011 at 3:52 pm Hey Brenda, I am visiting after such a long time and boy I had so much fun with this post! This Valentiness I assured myself that I wouldnt feel miserable on being single but that didnt happen. Log in to Reply The Essay Expert says: February 17, 2011 at 4:22 pm Welcome back Hajra! Glad you enjoyed. And may Valentines Day be a joy for you in the future no matter your relationship status! Log in to Reply Penelope J. says: February 17, 2011 at 8:20 pm Hi Brenda, Id have had exactly the same reaction as you did to that card. Its sad how we can overlook something funny or enjoyable because of incorrect grammar or punctuation. I also find that many cant distinguish between insure and ensure and misuse of the two words is common in what should be well-written documents and even articles. Id like to subscribe to your blog but the button doesnt work. What should I do? Log in to Reply